Review of Wolves on Road at the Bush Theatre, and An Expasperated Bee's Manifesto Against Digital Snake Oil

Rated 🍯🍯🍯🍯

Wolves on Road at the Bush Theatre is a production that practically vibrates with intensity. The bee was glued to its seat, hypnotized by the pace and dramatic tension that director Daniel Bailey conjured onstage. Beru Tessema’s script isn’t just about cryptocurrency—it’s about humanity’s perennial desire to escape the grind, to outwit an unfair system, to find a shortcut to success. What makes the play shine isn’t just its concept but its execution—a cast of wildly different characters whose lives intersect in ways both tragic and deeply recognizable.

There’s the starry-eyed youth seeking a quick rise, embodying the reckless optimism that crypto so often exploits. There’s mature and weathered figure whose values are constantly tested by a world that doesn’t play fair, and whose struggle to reconcile personal integrity with harsh realities is gut-wrenching. Then there’s the partner scarred by the trauma of an ex-partner's gambling and lies, fiercely resistant to anything resembling a get-rich-quick scheme. And finally, the pièce de résistance: the rags-to-riches visionary, a swaggering crypto king who claims to have transcended injustice and now wants to share the secret sauce with the less fortunate, whose unyielding conviction that his lucky breaks are the makings of his own ingenuity is both mesmerizing and maddening. Here is a character who embodies the intoxicating myth of the self-made genius, oblivious to the scaffolding of privilege, timing, and exploitation that hoists him to the top. His unyielding belief in his own narrative blinds him to the wreckage he leaves behind—broken trust, shattered lives, and the cruel irony that his so-called “revolution” perpetuates the very injustices it claims to dismantle. He’s a tragicomic figure, part hero in his own mind, part villain to everyone else, and wholly emblematic of the crypto dream gone awry.

Wolves on Road plunges headfirst into the murky, tantalizing world of cryptocurrency. It’s a telling story of ambition, deception, and the human frailties exploited by digital currencies. Yet, for all its energy, Wolves on Road hesitates to deliver the knockout blow: a scathing indictment of crypto itself.

The play astutely captures the collapse of a crypto exchange, framed as the tragic result of unchecked greed and poor governance. But here’s the rub: that framing lets cryptocurrency off the hook. It suggests that the problem lies with corrupt individuals mismanaging a golden opportunity, rather than the systemic rot embedded in the very concept of crypto. The bee craves a play that goes further—a work unafraid to shred the mythos of cryptocurrency as a revolutionary tool for financial liberation. Until then, here’s the bee’s own manifesto.

Wait. Before the bee unfurls its manifesto on the hollow promises of cryptocurrency, a quick note to the playwrights of the world: if you’re interested in crafting a theatrical takedown of this pointless system with the ferocity it deserves, please, by all means, steal from this essay. The bee not only permits it but actively encourages it. And if you need an enthusiastic collaborator, reach out! As it happens, the bee moonlights as a finance kid in its day job, armed with degrees in finance and economics, and would happily provide insights, resources, and impassioned rants—free of charge (no pyramid scheme here, promise). The bee is nothing if not dedicated to obliterating the myths of crypto, one misguided narrative at a time.

And while the bee’s usual métier is theatre—observing it, reflecting on it, and writing about it with the wit and vigor of a dramaturgical provocateur—it occasionally allows itself the indulgence of a broader rant. After all, what’s the point of maintaining a personal blog (an expensive hobby, by the way—those domain renewals don’t pay for themselves) if it can’t be used to unload some well-earned venom on a subject so ripe for dismantling? Consider this essay a rare but necessary digression—because when the bee hates something with this much passion, it would be remiss not to have its say. And now, with the stage thus set, on to the manifesto.

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Cryptocurrency: A Solution in Search of a Problem

In 2008, an enigmatic figure called Satoshi Nakamoto introduced Bitcoin, the first cryptocurrency, to a world grappling with financial crises. It was marketed as a savior—a way to free us from the corruption of governments and the greed of banks. Fifteen years later, cryptocurrency hasn’t revolutionized money, but it has become the backbone of speculative bubbles and dubious “innovations” like meme coins and digital pyramid schemes.

Cryptocurrency is not the future of money; it’s a high-tech ouroboros, endlessly consuming itself under the banner of “decentralization.” It fails to function as money—volatile, inefficient, and ironically dependent on the very centralized systems it claims to replace. To see why crypto is more hype than substance, let’s explore what makes money work and why cryptocurrency misses the mark.

Part 1: Money Isn’t Just a Medium—It’s Civilization’s Greatest Hack

Long before the rise of digital wallets and central banks, human trade was a messy affair. If the cobbler didn’t want your chickens and the butcher didn’t need your shoes, you were out of luck. This “double coincidence of wants” made barter an impractical system for growing economies.

Enter Money: A Universal Translator of Value. Money solved the inefficiencies of barter by acting as a medium of exchange, a store of value, and a unit of account. Early societies used commodity money—gold, silver, salt—items valuable both as currency and in their own right. But as economies expanded, we realized money didn’t need intrinsic value; it needed trust.

Modern money, or fiat currency, is backed not by gold but by trust—trust in governments and institutions to maintain its value. Why does this system work? Three reasons:

1. Centralized Enforcement: Governments enforce the use of their currency through legal tender laws. Imagine your employer paying you your salary in bushels of wheat in the name of “democratizing finance” or “decentralization.” A single currency simplifies transactions and ensures universal compliance.

   
   

2. Institutional Trust: Stable currencies like the U.S. dollar exist because central banks regulate supply and prevent hyperinflation (usually). In crises, central banks provide emergency liquidity, preventing systemic collapse. Cryptocurrency offers no such safety net. When major crypto ecosystems fail—like Terra/LUNA or FTX—there is no backstop to mitigate the fallout.

   
   

3. Economic Efficiency: Centralized systems streamline transactions and adapt to economic conditions. Crypto governance, by contrast, often results in hard forks—splitting blockchains into competing versions, such as Bitcoin vs. Bitcoin Cash. These fractures undermine trust and stability, further weakening cryptocurrency’s role as a unified monetary system.

Think of fiat money as a well-run public utility. Sure, your local waterworks may have flaws, but imagine if every household decided to drill its own well and invent a new plumbing system. That’s cryptocurrency in a nutshell—fragmentation disguised as liberation.

Part 2: Cryptocurrency—Fixing What Isn’t Broken

Cryptocurrency’s appeal lies in its promise to bypass corrupt intermediaries. By removing the “middleman,” it claims to democratize finance. Proponents often point to examples like hyperinflation in Zimbabwe or bank failures during the 2008 financial crisis to justify this vision.

But centralized monetary systems, despite their flaws, are overwhelmingly stable. Central banks manage inflation and adjust supply to meet economic needs. Bitcoin’s rigid supply cap (only 21 million coins) may prevent inflation, but it introduces a more insidious flaw: deflationary spirals. As Bitcoin’s value rises, people hoard it instead of spending it, choking economic activity.

Imagine saving $1,000 in Bitcoin for a vacation, only to find out it’s worth $500 a week later—or $5,000, but only if you sell before dinner. Volatility isn’t just an inconvenience; it’s a fatal flaw for any currency aspiring to be a store of value. Bitcoin’s wild price swings are baked into its design. Any change in demand sends prices sky-high or crashing down. This isn’t just a quirk; it’s structural. Unlike fiat currencies, where central banks adjust the money supply to stabilize economies, Bitcoin is as flexible as a diamond-studded crowbar.

Further, during network congestion, Bitcoin transaction fees can spike to absurd levels, rendering it impractical for everyday use. Further, for something that touts itself as the future of payments, cryptocurrency is hilariously bad at being a medium of exchange. Processing a Bitcoin transaction can take hours, and fees often spike to absurd levels during network congestion. Contrast this with Visa, which handles 65,000 transactions per second without blinking. And good luck explaining “gas fees” on Ethereum to someone who just wants to pay for coffee.

With over 10,000 cryptocurrencies floating around, we’ve recreated the medieval mess of multiple currencies, but now with added memes (hello, Dogecoin). The lack of a unified standard undermines the efficiency that fiat currencies bring to modern economies. Coordination problems abound, and let’s be honest—your landlord isn’t accepting rent in Shiba Inu tokens.

Don’t even get me started stablecoins—cryptocurrencies pegged to fiat currencies like the U.S. dollar—as a workaround for volatility and transaction inefficiencies. While stablecoins like USDC or Tether do offer relative stability, they highlight the paradox of cryptocurrency: stablecoins rely on fiat currency for their value. They don’t replace traditional money; they mirror it in digital form.

Part 3: Inflation, The Bogeyman That Wasn’t

Cryptocurrency’s obsession with inflation is another symptom of its misdiagnosed worldview. Bitcoin’s fixed supply of 21 million coins is often touted as its greatest strength—a safeguard against the “evils” of fiat money. But let’s unpack this claim, because it’s as misguided as it is infuriating.

Moderate inflation isn’t a flaw; it’s a feature. We need it. Central banks use inflation to:

1. Encourage Spending: A slight erosion of value incentivizes people to spend or invest, driving economic growth.

   
   

2. Reduce Debt Burden: Inflation makes it easier for borrowers (including governments) to repay debts over time.

   
   

3. Respond to Crises: By printing money, central banks inject liquidity into economies when it’s needed most—preventing depressions, stabilizing markets, and funding emergency measures.

Bitcoin, with its fixed supply, lacks this flexibility. Its proponents celebrate its deflationary tendencies, but deflation is an economic death spiral, make no mistake: people hoard money, waiting for its value to rise, and the economy grinds to a halt. Far from solving inflation, Bitcoin creates a worse problem—a currency that punishes spending and rewards stagnation.

Ironically, Bitcoin’s supposed immunity to inflation doesn’t even make it a good store of value. Its volatility far exceeds anything inflation could destroy. Consider this: If you’d bought Bitcoin in November 2021, you’d have lost nearly 70% of your value by mid-2022. Compare that to the U.S. dollar, which has lost about 98% of its purchasing power since 1913—a terrifying stat, until you realize that this decline was gradual, predictable, and offset by wage growth and investment returns. Bitcoin’s “solution” to inflation is like replacing a leaky faucet with a geyser. Sure, your old system wasn’t perfect, but at least it didn’t flood your entire house.

Bitcoiners love pointing to hyperinflationary disasters like Zimbabwe or Venezuela as proof that fiat money is broken. But these are exceptions, not the rule. Most fiat systems are stable, precisely because central banks actively manage supply and demand. Hyperinflation isn’t a failure of fiat; it’s a failure of governance. Replacing these failed systems with Bitcoin doesn’t address the root problem—it simply locks nations into an inflexible, deflationary trap.

Imagine Zimbabwe adopting Bitcoin during its hyperinflation crisis. The country’s economy wouldn’t stabilize; it would freeze. A farmer couldn’t sell crops today if Bitcoin’s value might double tomorrow. Local trade would collapse, and the black market—already rampant—would explode.

The lesson here is clear: the problem isn’t fiat money itself, but how it’s managed. Bitcoin doesn’t fix bad governance; it just handcuffs economies in the name of ideological purity.

Part 4: Blockchain—The Baby We Shouldn’t Throw Out

If cryptocurrency is a glorified Ponzi scheme, blockchain—the technology underpinning it—is its redeeming quality. Blockchain excels at record-keeping, enabling smart contracts, decentralized finance (DeFi), and transparency in supply chains. But here’s the kicker: blockchain doesn’t need cryptocurrency to function.

1. Smart Contracts: These self-executing agreements automate transactions without intermediaries. When certain predefined conditions are met, the contract executes automatically, removing the need for intermediaries like banks, lawyers, or notaries. While most smart contracts currently run on blockchain platforms like Ethereum, which use their native cryptocurrency (ETH) to pay for “gas fees,” there’s no inherent reason they must rely on cryptocurrency.

   
   

2. DeFi Platforms: DeFi platforms replicate traditional financial services—like lending, borrowing, and trading—without centralized intermediaries. Using smart contracts, DeFi eliminates banks and brokers, allowing anyone with an internet connection to access financial markets. DeFi platforms currently rely on cryptocurrencies to function, but this reliance is more a feature of the ecosystem’s origin than a technical necessity. Many DeFi applications already use stablecoins like USDC or DAI, which are pegged to fiat currencies. These tokens mitigate volatility and serve as a more stable medium for transactions. Further, in theory, DeFi systems could integrate directly with fiat currencies through banking APIs or government-issued digital currencies (CBDCs). This would eliminate the need for speculative cryptocurrencies while preserving the benefits of decentralized platforms.

Part 5: Cryptocurrency is a Solution to Misdiagnosed Problems

Cryptocurrency evangelists love to invoke the 2008 financial crisis as the ultimate indictment of centralized systems. They paint a world where shadowy banks bundled bad mortgages, reckless governments bailed them out, and the common person was left holding the bag. In this narrative, Bitcoin emerges as the hero—a trustless, decentralized messiah immune to corruption, manipulation, and systemic collapse.

But here’s the brutal truth: Bitcoin wasn’t forged in the fires of 2008 to save us from financial crises—it was built on a fundamental misunderstanding of what caused them. The 2008 meltdown wasn’t about centralized trust or record-keeping. It was about greed, bad incentives, and regulatory failures. Cryptocurrency, for all its high-tech bravado, does absolutely nothing to address these root causes. In fact, it may amplify them.

At the heart of the 2008 crisis was a lethal cocktail of misaligned incentives:

1. Subprime Lending: Banks made loans to people who couldn’t repay, betting on rising housing prices to cover the risks. When prices fell, the entire house of cards collapsed.

   
   

2. Toxic Derivatives: These bad loans were repackaged as “safe” investments, sold to unwitting buyers, and leveraged to absurd levels.

   
   

3. Shadow Banking: Unregulated institutions magnified systemic risks, spreading financial contagion like a flu at a daycare.

Now let’s fast-forward to the crypto era. Does your “hyper-democratized” DeFi platform, run on immutable smart contracts, somehow change human nature? In what universe do you expect for decentralization make lenders less reckless, borrowers more responsible, or speculators less greedy? I cannot even.

Imagine a crypto-powered housing bubble: instead of banks bundling mortgages into derivatives, you have decentralized protocols tokenizing every conceivable asset, from real estate to your neighbor’s pet hamster. Risk is now spread not through Wall Street but through an algorithm, and when the hamster token bubble pops, there’s no central bank to bail anyone out.

Decentralization doesn’t eliminate risk; it decentralizes blame. When the next collapse happens, there won’t be a Lehman Brothers to scapegoat—just a million anonymous wallets shrugging in unison.

Make No Mistake. Speculation is the Only Real Reason Crypto Exists

Strip away the libertarian rhetoric and technological hype, and cryptocurrency’s primary use case becomes painfully obvious: speculation. The majority of crypto transactions are driven not by commerce but by investors gambling on price movements. This speculative frenzy creates:

1. Scams and Fraud: Crypto is a breeding ground for Ponzi schemes, pump-and-dump schemes, and rug pulls. For every genuine use case, there are dozens of get-rich-quick schemes exploiting the unwary.

1. Market Manipulation: With no regulatory oversight, whales (large holders) can crash or pump prices at will, leaving retail investors in the dust.

   
   

2. Boom-and-Bust Cycles: Crypto’s wild volatility fuels cycles of euphoria and despair, enriching early adopters at the expense of latecomers.

Far from democratizing finance, cryptocurrency reinforces the worst aspects of unregulated markets. It’s a casino where the house always wins, dressed up as a revolution.

Cryptocurrency is a hammer in search of a nail. It addresses problems fiat money solved centuries ago while introducing new inefficiencies and risks. As a currency, it fails as a store of value, medium of exchange, and unit of account. As an ecosystem, it amplifies speculation, fosters scams, and neglects governance.

Yet, cryptocurrency’s hype has achieved one thing: forcing us to rethink finance. The real innovations—blockchain, smart contracts, decentralized apps—will endure as tools, not replacements for money. The rest? A fever dream that history will remember as a cautionary tale about mistaking disruption for progress.